Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Player: To Whom Much Is Given Much Is Tested

Senator Pat Geary: I despise the way you pose yourself. You and your whole fucking family.
Michael Corleone: We're both part of the same hypocrisy, senator...

It's always sweet when bankers are the ones who give the most money to campaigns for both political parties. Besides it being a commendable hedging strategy, the buying of every politician is such a delightfully incestuous game to me.

Game to run the universe goes something like this. Problem: Mr. Ty Hermes aka balla banker needs power. No one can imagine a smart guy like Ty who doesn't care about your feelings in office, because he can't even predict the stupid shit the American people will get fired up about next.

Few Examples:

  • Refusing to have a flag on your suit lappel made you un-American? Ty just thought thats what the retail cretins and BAC employees have to do.
  • Letting your VP candidate spend several thousand on clothes at luxurious 5th avenue? Ty doesn't understand. That bitch was hot. Good thing the press did not catch wind for the lingerie she bought for private banker fundraisers.
  • Allowing Madoff, Stanford, and other managers that are asshole thieves be unregulated? Let Ty know when you have the minimum $1.5 mill. to be an investor in a fund like that. 'Til then, check to see if Vanguard can handle your $40,000 life savings. Mind your own businees, driver.
For these things, we bankers are called out of touch by the American people. The banker understands that with his intellegence and overall disdain for all the Joe the Plummers that he needs to find someone who can communicate with them. You know, someone 'you could have a beer with.' Essentially, someone who is as dumb as you are. The prez may talk a good game about helping 'people and not banks,' but get him in the smoking room for his real thoughts:

Thanks bud. But I do think he may be a little sore that he didn't go to the Firm and instead went to be a community organizer, so he may come after us...

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