Friday, February 13, 2009

Nothing: The Between Banks Bankers

There are several 'friends' that are between jobs right now and its pretty sad. I'm slightly uncomfortable calling them 'friends' sometimes considering they have no income. I would relate hanging out with them somewhat to community service, however, I have never been to a homeless shelter or Red Cross or whatever so there is no basis of comparison. One pal claimed to be victimized by a Credit Suisse hiring freeze. When I ask him how things are going, he claims he goes to the gym a lot and drinks in the afternoons sometimes to "spice things up." Another bankless bud seems to have lost hope. He has been moping at home all day and has gotten so negative and depressed, he will tell me things like, "Tell me how we are not fucked."
I respond reasonably that, "I'm not fucked. Sucks for you America."
He will emotionally spout statistics, "You'll be fucked when you are paying 70% tax and dealing with 20% inflation!" or something.
I did not have the heart to say that his lack of cash flow would qualify him for government support.

Another case said he would never apply for another bank because the industry was so unstable and that "there will be a day you discover money doesn't grow on trees." What a quaint expression, I had never heard of a proverb for frugality before. Nevertheless, I am a realist. I have understood and currently understand there are these black swan events. Just because my bank account has doubled litterally every month since I have started work does not mean that it will always be so. There may be the day that it gets cut off. Fine.
Banking is about intellegence and this is a survival game. One has to be mentally prepared for the 'fat tail' event. I'm not talking about quantitative distributions; I'm talking about the sobering morning of hooking up with a chick with a cute face but a lobster body (all the meat is in the back).

I want to encourage those downtrodden between bank bankers that life is all relative.
Oh, you are bitter you didn't get a bonus?
Take pride in the fact that you have Vineyard Vines ties of every pastel!

Oh, you are freaking out about your company falling apart? The stock price dipping?
Maybe you shouldn't have had all your retirement account in your one company.
But everyone knew the culture was such a competitive advantage!
Listen. You should believe in yourself over the convictions of a CEO from Queens or the assurances of the Treasury Sec from some 2nd tier Ivy in New Hampshire.

Oh, you are worried about your job security or lack thereof?
Yeah, I guess I would hate having the free time to take a trip with my boys to Cancun to plow the spring break '09 sorostitutes. You may be employed 5 days a year but that means you have 360 days off!

After banking, its not healthy to think your life has peaked at such a young age (though it probably has). The key to happiness for a banker or hipster is this: stop worrying about what you don't have and think about what you do have.
I may not have any real free time right now. Not upset. What I do have is a 50 foot boat docked in the Gulf of Mexico that I have never taken a trip on. Yet.

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