Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Player: Lunch

"Nah, are you kidding me? Lunch is for wimps..." - G.G.


One of the most important concepts in the finance world is how you spend that period midday to recharge. What you eat, who you eat with, and where you eat all speak volumes about your role in the finance world.


Quants:
All right I agree that some people in the finance industry are better suited for eating at their desks. We got it right with quants. Banks just locked the Trekkies into a windowless closet and told them, don't come out until you write a program for me that I can take credit for. I guess the dorks got their revenge by making absurd assumptions in their models

What's for lunch: A slice of Sbarro's pizze slid into the slot of the door.

Who you eat with: The other quant in the windowless room over, though you communicate through tapping Morris code in the wall

Where you eat: Basking in the light of your computer screen


Traders:
The trader has a coke habit to curb his appetite and no fuckin time to leave, so he a) sends the intern b) spends 10 minutes outside getting food if he is not important enough or c) just shotguns a Redbull for a meal. If the trader were to eat:

What's for lunch: Chinese food. The boxes placed right under their mouths as they stare longingly into their Bloombergs.

Who you eat with: The guys around your desk. The dialouge involves a story of one of the traders regailing the croud of his trip to Brazil where he fucked a 17 year old prostitute.

Where you eat: Why would he ever leave his desk during daylight? Traders are reverse vampires.


Commercial/Corporate Bankers:
This is where the fabled three hour martini lunches come from. Unfortunatly, the booze usually has to wait til night but the lunch is still acceptably expensive. Who cares? Just use the corporate card!

What's for lunch: Goat cheese profiteroles and an arugula Caesar salad. For entrees, choice of swordfish meatloaf with onion marmalade or a rare-roasted partridge breast in raspberry coulis with a sorrel timbale. I know, I know, they really have had to pull back on the options in recent times...

Who you eat with: This is the genius part. If the banker doesn't have a client to take, they go out with the other bankers. Excuse me? I believe he ordered the cactus pear sorbet.

Where you eat: Any place that offers quail eggs.

I-Banker:
Any capital markets organization that reminds me of the pedestrian AAPL deserves nothing better then a nice Mexican place. Speedy, so the screensaver does not come up by the time they get back.

What's for lunch: Burritos, tacos, bathroom in an hour food, etc.

Who you eat with: The team. The waiter has not realized there were so many various shades of Oxford blue dress shirts.

Where you eat: Anyplace that could use a five year projection assuming a growth rate of 10% sales increase, 5% G&A reduction, 6% tax increase in the third year...


Executive Management:
Suprisingly varied. Either a banker style lunch or a trader style one.

What's for lunch: Who am I firing again today?

Who you eat with: Deb, can you send in my twelve o'clock?

Where you eat: 21 club or McDonald's. Wherever the deals are baby.




43 comments:

  1. seems like mr. big got laid off too--uh oh

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  2. 人並不是生來要吃敗仗的。人可被毀滅,但不可被擊倒。..................................................

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  3. 河水永遠是相同的,可是每一剎那又都是新的。........................

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  4. 與朋友在一起,分擔的痛苦是減半的痛苦,分享的快樂是加倍的快樂。 ............................................................

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  5. 在莫非定律中有項笨蛋定律:「一個組織中的笨蛋,恆大於等於三分之二。」......................................................................

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  6. 一個人的價值,應該看他貢獻了什麼,而不是他取得了什麼............................................................

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  7. 聰明人之所以不會成功,是因為他們缺乏了堅忍的毅力。.......................................................

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  8. 大肚能容,了卻人間多少事,滿腔歡喜,笑開天下古今愁。..................................................

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  9. 世間事沒有一樣沒有困難,只要有信心去做,至少可以做出一些成績。..................................................

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  10. 生存乃是不斷地在內心與靈魂交戰;寫作是坐著審判自己。............................................................

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  11. 生存乃是不斷地在內心與靈魂交戰;寫作是坐著審判自己。..................................................

    ReplyDelete